What Contempt Looks Like
Welcome to Dr. D’Arienzo’s TwogetherinTexas Premarital Course! The course is virtually free for you based upon the big discount you will receive for your Texas marriage license by taking our $23.97 course, and you will avoid the three day wait. We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading for Dr. D’Arienzo’s What Contempt Looks Like:
More than just censure or negative speech is contempt. It occurs when one partner makes claims about their superior intelligence, moral character, or general humanity. The receiving spouse experiences feelings of unworthiness and unlove. For instance, it is disrespectful to keep interrupting the other individual. But when the interruption is a declaration that the partner has nothing fascinating or significant to say rather than an overeager desire to talk, it turns into contempt. A spouse’s statement that “Oh, he’s not worth listening to,” might be a clear example. Without a narrative to fall back on, he was doomed.
Contempt can destroy a marriage. Any relationship, much less a marriage, is in trouble when this kind of behavior becomes more common than it used to be and when it is either unrecognized or given with purpose. Couples can’t feel like they have each other’s backs when there is contempt. Partners are now the enemies rather than “it’s you and I against the problem.” They are constantly at risk of being assaulted or undermined. This frequently results from people feeling like they are defending themselves, which is typically a good thing to do. However, the issue is that they are attempting to upend their companion while trying to defend themselves by defending themselves against them. Contempt is detrimental to our health as well as our interpersonal interactions. To live, we need one another. These connections to other people are severed or put in danger by contempt. According to research, people who communicate with disdain have higher rates of diseases like cancer, heart disease, and other ailments like the flu or the common cold.
Here are some ways to eliminate contempt in your relationship:
1. Recognize and express unfavorable emotions.
It’s enticing to vent our negative emotions on others when we are unable to identify or discuss them.
I can’t believe you’re skipping our date night to meet with your pals, for instance. You’re a spoiled scumbag. You never consider how I feel.
Use this method instead to avoid communicating with contempt:
Describe your feelings: “I feel irritated and depressed because I was looking forward to our time together.”
Please add the following request: “I’d like to prevent this from happening in the future by talking about it first before changing plans.” Do you believe we can do that? Ask your discussion partner.
2. Promote an appreciation-based mindset.
By expressing our gratitude, we are more likely to focus on our partner’s positive traits rather than their flaws.
The golden number is at least five positive statements or emotions to one negative one. Ideally, we want our positive statements and actions to exceed the negative ones.
After a week, observe your conversation habits. How frequently do you engage negatively (e.g., by nagging, critiquing, disregarding, or rolling your eyes) compared to positively (e.g., by applauding, complementing, or going out of your way for your partner)?
Use the magic number to communicate with your companion the following week. Do you believe otherwise?
You might also attempt coming up with an inventory of 20 traits that you both adore about one another. Read them aloud and set a task for yourself by continuing to add to the list.
Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course.
Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need. He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota.
Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our TwogetherinTexas Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Texas Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.
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