Tools To Resolve Conflict: Part III
Welcome to Dr. D’Arienzo’s TwogetherinTexas Premarital Course! The course is virtually free for you based upon the big discount you will receive for your Texas marriage license by taking our $23.97 course, and you will avoid the three day wait.
We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading on for Part III for Dr. D’Arienzo’s tips and tools to resolve conflict in your relationship:
Tools To Resolve Conflict: Part III
Dr. Gottman has developed a five-step tool to discuss an issue or major problem that needs to be resolved. Remember the goal is to gain a greater understanding of where your partner is coming from rather than to win the argument. When I work with couples, I want them both to feel like they have been heard, understood, and are accepted for their position. Often achieving the above deescalates the situation and the couple finds resolution. Couples that get along and don’t have conflict easily agree to disagree. Couples who have high conflict are threatened by disagreement. In using the five steps below, couples should work through each step together.
- Feelings: Share how you felt about the situation. Do not say why you felt that way. Avoid commenting on your partner’s feelings. Stay in your lane.
2. Realities: Describe your “reality.” Take turns. Summarize and validate at least a part of your partner’s reality. Remember, their reality should not be a threat to you. During the conflict, we have selective attention and therefore partners remember the same situation differently.
3. Triggers: Share what experiences or memories you have had that might have escalated the interaction and the stories of why these are triggers for each of you. Own your own trigger. Don’t blame, criticize, or minimize your partner’s triggers.
4. Responsibility: Acknowledge your own role in contributing to the fight or incident. This is the opposite of defensiveness. When we take a little responsibility this is deescalating for our partner.
5. Constructive Plans: Plan together one way that each of you can make it better next time. Now that you both have a better appreciation of where your partner is coming from, you have been heard, and you each have taken some of the responsibility for the regrettable incident, you are better able to find a resolution with your partner.
Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course.
Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need. He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota.
Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our TwogetherinTexas Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Texas Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.
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