Tools To Resolve Conflict: Part II
Welcome to Dr. D’Arienzo’s TwogetherinTexas Premarital Course! The course is virtually free for you based upon the big discount you will receive for your Texas marriage license by taking our $23.97 course, and you will avoid the three day wait.
We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading on for Part II for Dr. D’Arienzo’s tips and tools to resolve conflict in your relationship:
Tools To Resolve Conflict: Part II
Couples need to fight with the end in mind. So, what should the end in mind consist of? The end in mind should focus on resolving the issue and simultaneously ensuring your partner feels good during and after the conflict. Both partners must control their stubbornness. Couples should practice calming techniques, meaning they should pay attention to their heart rates. When we have a heart rate above 90 to 95 beats per minute, we are emotionally flooded and have difficulty being rational in arguments and are in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. When we are flooded, we should pause or take a time-out for 20 to 30 minutes from an argument and then resume discussion to resolve the conflict. Just as we should not spank our children when we are angry or emotional, we should not argue or discuss important matters with our partner when we are angry, or we will inevitably say or do something that we regret. Most importantly, if you need a break from an argument, take a break, but resolve the issue immediately following your break. Watch for signs of flooding–like feeling overwhelmed, not being able to stay calm during arguments, wanting distance, and small issues becoming big ones. If you are flooded, take a break.
We have illustrated Safe Talking Techniques that have been adapted from Markman and Stanley in “Fighting for your Marriage”. These techniques enable each partner to speak without interruption:
1.Use of a jointly valued item such as a talking tool (for example, a wedding ring or a photo of the family or the couple).
2. Each person takes turns to hold the item and the person who holds it also holds the floor.
3. The person listening then repeats back what they have heard and checks that it is correct.
4. The other person then takes hold of the talking item and speaks while their partner summaries.
Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course.
Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need. He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota.
Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our TwogetherinTexas Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Texas Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.
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